Confused child examining deodorant: “This is for guys…but it smells nice?”
: n )
Overheard in store…
March 7th, 2010I like music that’s cool. - Beavis & Butthead
March 4th, 2010When it comes to music, my usual attitude is if it’s so good, why am I not already listening to it? Sure, that may seem a bit arrogant, but I know from myself that my music tastes are the best in the world, perhaps even in the whole wide universe.
Korn? Eh. Yellowcard? Eh. Smashing Pumpkins? Hell, yes. Pass it around, and give me some more.
So basically this whole post is to say what a good music picker and chooser I am.
In the words of Quagmire , “Alright.”
And who in the hell is named, “Quagmire?”
Googlemily
February 22nd, 2010As my galarm went off, I sighed and dragged my ghand across my gface. I was going to be late for work at Google again. I dressed quickly, ate my gbar, checked my gmail (a gmust), and as I hopped into my gToyota gPrius (pronounced gee-Toyota gee-Prius), I remarked how much better everything had become since Google had started controlling every aspect of my glife. Sometimes my glife hangs up like a bad gInternet connection, but somehow Google sees it through. Google has worked hard to enter every area of industry, and while everyone was enamored with their Google devices, Google overthrew the government and instituted gcommunism. Like it? That’s the gfuture. Gsmile.
Not really! Just having some fun. Dilly dilly fun bar. Best to Google! Not too much, though. ;n)
Wow, the Yellow M&Ms were there all along…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 11th, 2010Have you ever been eating M&M’s and wondered, “Have I seen this color M&M’s before? It seems like I should remember…” Well, that just happened to me with yellow M&M’s. I swear I’d forgotten completely about their existence.
Darn it! Now I’m drawing a blank on green, but I remember the talking 3D animated peanut M&M on TV with the low voice being green, so they must exist! Go my powers of observation!
If I ever opened a bag of different-colored M&M’s, it would . blow . my. mind. I’d think I was in an alternative universe and start trying to zap people with finger-lasers. Don’t ask about that. That’s just something weird I try to do whenever I think I’m in an alternative universe.
A Quest for the Armani Cat Name to be Spread as Far as the Earth will Allow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 9th, 2010I am on a quest to make the entire world refer to black cats with yellow eyes as Armani cats. My black cat is named Armani (I sometimes call him Mr. Sparkles just for fun) and has yellow eyes, and it is common around the house to call other cats of similar appearance Armani cats.
Why is he named Armani? I don’t know. He’s a shelter cat. That’s just what he was named. I wanted NBK (Natural Born Killer), but I decided it was best to stick with a familiar name for him to not rock his world so much.
Sexism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 31st, 2009
An African American was considered three-fifths of a person in the 1800s. They were considered morally, spiritually, and intellectually inferior to white people, and yet in 1885 voting rights were extended to black males. While racial discrimination regularly prevented blacks from exercising these rights, it was still legally theirs. And yet, it wasn’t until 1920 that women received the right to vote.
How did people who weren’t even considered people (blacks) receive the right to vote before people who were considered people (women)? How debased are women in the eyes of men for this to happen? Are they two-fifths of a person? Is sexism really less addressed than racism? Part of the problem is that sexism is so ingrained into society that it is hardly noticed.
Women are not allowed to be priests in Catholicism, and yet blacks are allowed to be members. If black people were banned from the church, there would be a major public outcry of racism. However, women are forbidden from being priests to relatively little controversy.
Part of the problem is that girls are raised inside a culture of sexism. Women are underrepresented in sports, politics, religion, upper members of companies, and many other fields of work. There is no stigma against weakness or frailty, unlike that for men, which ends up damaging women’s resolve to face problems when they can default them to men. Being female, I feel subliminally discriminated against by society and inferior to men in almost every way. This is my problem and created by me, but I feel that the quietly sexist environment I live in is a huge and unrecognized factor.
Darth Vader was BALD!!!!!!!!!!
May 31st, 2009I always disliked the fact that Darth Vader was revealed as a scar-tissued, breathing-device-needed hairless egghead when Luke took his helmet off. On the other hand, Darth Vader wouldn’t look remotely evil if he had a full head of hair. There’s just something about a full head of healthy hair that screams, “Good guy.” I just can’t imagine him going to a barber and saying, “A little off the top, please. I need to look tip-top for Emperor Palpatine.” That potato of a man had to be bald.
Obama Can Save Us All!!!!!!!!!!
May 31st, 2009
Now that Barack Obama is going to be the President, all the world’s problems will dissolve into peace and laughter. No longer will there be floods and earthquakes and fires. No longer will little babies cry and couples divorce. No longer will there be bigotry or hate or violence. No longer shall people be obese or misshapen or get cancer or AIDs. No longer shall people live in fear and struggle for food and shelter. Obama will provide for all, allowing them to take temporary residence in the White House. Bad things are of the past. Obama will draw everyone together, and they will take off their shoes and get in a circle and hold hands with Obama in the center, releasing doves into the glorious sky, and they will all dance until all the world rejoices and God does a little jig up in the sky. Amen.
Thank God Obama has come to save us all.