Issue #: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Everywhere one goes one is hounded by students passing out fliers, especially during student government elections. They haunt all entrances and exits of where students walk. One almost has to be rude to avoid having a hefty collection of fliers at the end of the day. Here are some alternative methods to taking a flier:

• Pick up and drop method
  Take the flier and drop on the ground once you’re safely out of distance.
  Cons: Litters.
  Pros: UF has to employ someone to pick up the fliers on the ground, which expands the job market.
• **** off method
  Cuss the (censored….still censored….still censored…still censored) out
  Cons: Makes people hate your guts.
  Pros: Healthy release of pent up anger.
• Slap method
  Slap arm or paper away from you. Optional: say “denied!” as you do it
  Cons: Slightly offensive:
  Pros: Slightly offensive.
• Walk-by method
  Walk by without so much as a glance. Make no effort to take a flier if offered.
  Cons: People might think you’re retarded.
  Pros: Delightfully rude (if you’re a sadist).
• Buffer method
  Keep person between you and person passing out fliers.
  Cons: Somebody else gets stuck with the flier.
  Pros: Somebody else gets stuck with the flier.
• Evasive maneuvers
  Walk where there are no people passing out fliers.
  Cons: It’s as hard as avoiding TIEs near an Imperial Star Destroyer (?nerd reference)
  Pros: Now that you’re spineless you’re extremely flexible.
• “I already got one” method
  Say, “I already got one” regardless of whether you got one.
  Cons: Sometimes they feel inclined to start a conversation with you.
  Pros: You get to lie…sometimes.