Issue #: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Yes and No Questions
Do you recopy your notes to make them neater?
Do asymmetrical things bother you?
Have you ever felt hatred towards someone with a bigger harddrive than yours?
Do you have separate screen names for talking with friends and talking with close friends?
Have you ever said something like “good and evil are relative” or “it depends on your definition of good”?
Do you go to a math and science academy?
Do you know what 5! is right off the bat?
Did you ever pretend you could use the Force?
Have you ever taken the keys out of a keyboard to clean it?
Do you know Octavius’ other name?
Do you carry around spare batteries for your calculator?
Have you ever stared at a screensaver for more than five minutes?
Have you ever asked to see someone’s pen, pencil, eraser, or pencil box because you though it was really cool?
Do you have a favorite physics equation?
Did you lie on this test in order to raise your nerd ratio score?
Do you use control-C and control-V to copy and paste?
Do you hang out more with Mr. Coffee than Mr. Pillow?
Do you know pi to five or more decimal places?

Each yes is worth 2 points. Each no is worth 0 points.

Double Questions

Have you ever AIMed yourself?

And found it way more amusing than it should’ve been?

Do you call people by their logins?

Do people call you by your login?

Do you talk on AIM to people you know you know but whose name you can’t recall?

Is he/she your best friend?

Do you refigure your grade after receiving a test back?

And calculate how many more points you need to get an A?

Do you know what an operating system is?

Did you smirk at how easy that question is?

Do you have a TI-89?

And find a TI-83 hard to use because it’s so primitive?

Is your handwriting illegible?

To you?

Have you got above 1400 on the SAT?

And takin it again?

Did you correct the above sentence?

In ink?

Did you take the SAT in sixth grade?

And study for it?

Do you wear glasses?

Swimming?

Have you ever scored above 100% on a math test?

And felt guilty because you didn’t get all the extra credit?

Do you know the scientific formula for sodium bizenophyrate?

Did you even try to answer that question?

1 point for the first yes. 3 points for the second yes. 0 points for no.

True or False
Web-based email systems are for wimps.
Windows is the bane of my existence and Bill Gates my undying nemesis.
Puns are funny, especially when I make them.
Mac’s are better than PC’s.
I want to go to MIT.
Pants are meant to be worn 6 inches above the ankles.

1 points for each true. 0 for each false.

Sentence Completion
1. R2__
2. The Starship __________
3. Don’t Drink and ________
4. Medula _________

1 pts for each correct answer: 1. D2, 2. Enterprise, 3. Derive 4. Oblongata

80-100 Nerd
Why are you reading this magazine?

60-80 Geek
Your life is effectively over, and shouldn't you be at math practice or something?

40-60 Bore
Ewww. Get away from me!

20-40 Average
I wouldn’t want you to be my friend or anything...

0-20 Way Cool
In da house!

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