michael phelps sponsors marijuana

Michael Phelps Sponsors Marijuana

[emily rice]

The Marijuana Smokers’ Union (MSU) has traditionally had trouble picking positive marijuana-smoking sponsors because many heavy weed smokers are mellow, lazy, underachievers who like to pig out on junk food while watching a whole lot of TV. “We had a really hard time getting a spokesperson because most smokers are not very inspiring, unless you’re inspired by the massive amount of marijuana some people have smoked in a day,” said Anna Ross, President of the MSU. “At last, at last we have a marijuana smoker that has actually accomplished something,” commented a member of the MSU. “Eight gold medals? In swimming? AND a marijuana smoker? Now that’s something we can all admire. Michael Phelps is a God-send for the marijuana industry.”

Some of Phelps’ sponsors backed out after a picture of Phelps using a bong created a media circus of disbelief and disgust. However, companies that design weed-related products have jumped at the opportunity to use Michael Phelps as a sponsor. Bong companies have supplied Phelps with many high-quality bongs in hope that future photographic opportunities will arise.

Fellow stoners have been leaving bags of marijuana outside Phelps’ house in honor of him. “It’s all right. Everything’s good. They’re having a Charlie’s Angels marathon this afternoon, so, yah, everything’s good,” stated Phelps.

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