Let me say that Bush has had a really hard presidency. Whether he did a good job or not is up for debate. However, he has been ridiculed to a ridiculous degree. That said, here is a script I wrote that completely ridicules him. The George Bush in this writing is an exaggerated caricature of him. I apologize in advance. It also makes fun of Obama’s perpetual Presidential professionalism.

Bush: Welcome, President-elect Obama

Obama: Good to see you, Mr. President. (They shake hands.)

Bush: Hey there, Mr. Barack Obama. Welcome to this here oval room-type place. Let me just show you around.

Obama: My pleasure, President Bush.

Bush: Well, let’s start off with this big, humongous desk of mine. Now this desk is the pride…and joy of the Oval Office. For one thing, it’s where I keep my munchies.

Obama: I’m very much obliged, President Bush.

Bush: Alright, let’s start with where I stash the munchies.

Obama: Excuse me, sir? Did you say…munchies?

Bush: What? You don’t like munchies?

Obama: No, sir. Just…I…

Bush: Anyway, in this desk drawer, I have my munchies—popcorn, Cheetos, jelly beans, you name it. No pretzels. Oh God, no pretzels. Anyway, it’s my secret stash. Heh heh heh.* Unfortunately, Dick likes to eat them sometimes, so I had this special vault installed in the wall behind a hidden panel. Where is it? Dammit, I forgot where my secret vault is. Anyway, the code is “1, 2, 4.” Write that down somewhere, so you don’t forget it. See, anybody who knows me would think my secretive code is “1,2,3.” But no! This old fart still has some tricks up his sleeve. I’ll leave whatever I don’t finish before I leave here for ya. Heh heh heh.* The President’s is a hard job and munchies are essential.

Obama: Very good, sir. I am much obliged.

Bush: Jesus Christ, do you always agree with people?

Obama: No, sir.

Bush: Well, that’s better. Alright, now what have we got here? This, here, you see, this here is the big red nuk’em button. You push it, and missiles are shot towards every non-US country. Nuked! I liked to call it my…Armageddon button. Nobody knows the President has this button. Cheney installed it. His idea. Shame I never used it. Once I fell and almost hit it. My God! I almost passed out.

Obama: Well, I’m not here to cause wars with other nations. I am here to lead this nation into the 21st century with peace and friendship extended to all nations. I think the button will have to go.

Bush: Okay. Whatever. Your call. Well, let me show you around some more.

Obama: So, sir, there are really no documents in that drawer? None?

Bush: Well, I just pass the important docs to big ol’ Cheney here. He hides them in his secret lair. He’ll have to tell Biden about that. Oh yeah. I also have a gun in there. I call her Sweetness. Ha ha. Stephen Colbert is a funny man.

Obama: (looking alarmed) What…what do you need a…shot gun for?

Bush: Because I won’t leave this White House without a fight. Heh heh heh.* Just kiddin’. Got you there for a second there. Didn’t I? I got it to shoot all them Al-Qaeda if they sneak into the Oval Office.

Obama: I don’t think having a firearm in the Oval Office is quite necessary, President Bush.

Bush: Well, potayto. Potahto. We both have our potatoes. It barely fits in the desk, but we got some of those construction workers up here to help with it. She’s my little helper if ever al-Qaeda infiltrates my secret Oval Office. Heh heh heh.* Never had to use her yet, but I’ll leave it here for you. Hey, I’m a pretty nice guy. Anyway, I was pretty safe from the al Qaeda’s because there were people imitatin’ me all around the country, drawin’ the al-Qaeda away from assassinating me to assassinating somebody pretending to me. Did you hear about “Little Bush?” That show’s freakin’ hilarious! There’s just been a flowering…a flowering of the…the arts under my administration. You may need a gun just because there are racist imps about. Black people in politics gotta watch out.

Obama: [Obama takes the shotgun from George and cocks it.] Maybe. Maybe. [He gives it back.]

BUSH: What else? Let me see here. Ah, on the top of this desk heh heh* is my “In” pile, and ah next to it is my let’s see here, my “Out” pile. I know the “In” pile is way bigger than my “Out” pile heh heh* you see, but I was just leaving something for you to do. I’m all presidentialed out. Let’s see, this top one here is a real winner. It says, “War in Iraq.” Lord who knows how long that one’s been there. Well, that one goes to ya. Carry it with you. Here, why don’t you take care of the whole stack. Alright, what else can I show ya? Oh, this here’s my Oval Office chair. Isn’t she great?

Obama: A La-z-y Boy Chair…

Bush: Ayup. It even massages. Yes, alrighty. The old chair wasn’t very comfy, so I brought in a new one. Gotta be comfy. Always important to be comfy. Sometimes I jus’ work here in my pajamas, doing Presidential-type stuff. Well, anything else? No, I don’t think so.

Obama: I think…I will be replacing that...well, to each his own I guess. And I suppose that TV on the desk is for watching sports games?

Bush: You got it.

Obama: Alright. Well, I’m going to take my leave now. May we have many fruitful conversations in the future. President Bush, I cannot over- emphasize enough what a great host you’ve been. I hope I will see you soon. Goodbye.

Bye, ‘Bama