Okay. I’m a straight female and have no interest whatsoever in pornography, so I’m precisely not the desired target demographic . I’m in the demographic that cringes every time it sees one of our peers marketing herself as the next best boy-toy, but damn it, Girls Gone Wild is CHEAP! SO. DAMN. CHEAP. What a deal!!! Two whole videos for $9.99? Seriously? Two WHOLE videos! That’s $5 each! Do you know how expensive videos normally are? They’re definitely not $5 each. Normally, videos with stuff on them are around $20 or so. I’m practically MAKING money in this deal. Making money! Not really, but damn that’s cheap. Cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap. I can’t believe it’s so cheap!

I know. I know. I know what you’re thinking. Girls Gone Wild is simply clip after clip of scantily clad or non-clad women exposing their breasts and more depending on the degree of privacy. It’s debasing to the female gender and a prime example of what people will do for attention, and it’s a shame there’s even a market for that ratty kind of filth. BUT IT’S $5 EACH!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!! $5 DOLLARS! WHOOHOO! PARTY AT MY HOUSE! Oh wait…no party. I’ll just feel good that I got a bargain. My parents will be a little bit surprised when they find them in the mail, but oh well, ‘cause I’ll be feeling like I ripped off the man. These videos are worth at least $6.50 each. At least.

Wait, why am I buying these videos? I’m a girl. All I really need is a mirror. A mirror and two blank videotapes from Circuit City, and I may have ripped off the makers of Girls Gone Wild because I’ve gotten what is essentially the same for less. That's two videos FOR FREE. HELL, YES. Wait, I'm not hot. That would be like a horror film. Girls Gone Wild girls are much hotter and more chipper.

Wait, what do I need videotapes for? I never tape anything. My video camera doesn’t even use videotapes. We don’t even have a functioning VCR. I think I just wanted them because it felt like I was ripping off the man. Oh well. I guess it’s like before where I look just to the top or right or left of the TV when Girls Gone Wild commercials come on. So it goes.

Maybe if they start selling at $5 for two videos. Maybe.