Okay. I’m a straight female and have no interest whatsoever in pornography, so I’m precisely not the desired target demographic . I’m in the demographic that cringes every time it sees one of our peers marketing herself as the next best boy-toy, but damn it, Girls Gone Wild is CHEAP! SO. DAMN. CHEAP. What a deal!!! Two whole videos for $9.99? Seriously? Two WHOLE videos! That’s $5 each! Do you know how expensive videos normally are? They’re definitely not $5 each. Normally, videos with stuff on them are around $20 or so. I’m practically MAKING money in this deal. Making money! Not really, but damn that’s cheap. Cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap. I can’t believe it’s so cheap!

I know. I know. I know what you’re thinking. Girls Gone Wild is simply clip after clip of scantily clad or non-clad women exposing their breasts and more depending on the degree of privacy. It’s debasing to the female gender and a prime example of what people will do for attention, and it’s a shame there’s even a market for that ratty kind of filth. BUT IT’S $5 EACH!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!! $5 DOLLARS! WHOOHOO! PARTY AT MY HOUSE! Oh wait…no party. I’ll just feel good that I got a bargain. My parents will be a little bit surprised when they find them in the mail, but oh well, ‘cause I’ll be feeling like I ripped off the man. These videos are worth at least $6.50 each. At least.

Wait, why am I buying these videos? I’m a girl. All I really need is a mirror. A mirror and two blank videotapes from Circuit City, and I may have ripped off the makers of Girls Gone Wild because I’ve gotten what is essentially the same for less. Yes, I know Girls Gone Wild girls are much hotter, but I was planning on closing my eyes during that part anyway.

Wait, what do I need videotapes for? I never tape anything. My video camera doesn’t even use videotapes. We don’t even have a functioning VCR. I think I just wanted them because it felt like I was ripping off the man. Oh well. I guess it’s like before where I look just to the top or right or left of the TV when Girls Gone Wild commercials come on. So it goes.

Maybe if they start selling at $5 for two videos. Maybe.