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The first thing to do is to come up with a name. It must be unusual, so you don’t end up using the name of another band (which is hard because so many bands have nonsensical names), but it also must make absolutely no sense, even to you. Try putting two random words together, perhaps a verb or a noun or an adjective and a noun, or maybe even make up a word. You can also simply use "The" plus a noun or verb.

Next, you must advertise for the following people.

The Drummer*
Must have aversion to wearing shirts and long pants. Caucasian. Tattoos mandatory. Not too good-looking or strong personality because will take attention away from the front man. Must grimace when playing drums. Preferably a bit on the skinny side with semi-defined muscles. Is obnoxious. Likes loud things and hitting things.

Bassist*
Must be sullen and dark-haired. Must always look serious when playing bass. Outrageous hat and/or unusual clothes. Doesn’t move around too much on stage. Air of mystery and slight contempt necessary.

Guitarist/Back-Up Vocalist*
Must be best buds or former best bud with front man. A bit on the slow side but musically gifted. Other than that, anything goes.

Guitar and Vocals*
Must have gaudy clothing, including tight pants. Shirt optional. Must move around like having an epileptic seizure and have absolutely no personal inhibitions. (Must be terrible dancer.) Preferences for crack and alcohol and women. Must feed tabloids. Must date high-profile girl and break up with drama. Troubled past preferred. Must not give a damn about authority. Distinctive face or really long hair to hide face. Likes to wear black and jewelry. Must be able to scream for long periods of time. Large mouth helps. Swears.

*One, some or all must be socially withdrawn and awkward. Drug addiction for at least one band member is mandatory, with him/her encouraging the other members to do drugs. Must be severe tension among group members. Most must have poor schooling or/and hard childhoods.